Catch up # 2, from Chiang Mai period

(From an e-mail sent to my folks several months back)

My life has changed from being a terribly empty and boring piece of s**t to something

relentlessly fascinating.

If I could snap my fingers and make my motorbike appear here, I'd be in heaven.

Of course, my timing being what it is, the whole country erupted into political chaos the very f*#king week I arrived.

The temples (called Wat) are kinda staggering. Lives are devoted to their upkeep.

I recently survived Songkran (that's Thai New Year celebration, the year here being 2553) Songkran is a week-long water fight, involving super soakers, buckets of water being thrown on everyone by everyone, and lost contact lenses. I have never seen anything like it in my life… simple assault being endured and enjoyed by all.

Chiang Mai is a northern province, ringed by mountains and giant golden Buddhas in the jungle. I knew I didn't want Bangkok, because I didn't want to trade one giant f*#ked-up city for another one. I knew I didn't want some podunk village where I'd have to carry my water bucket up from the river, towing a yak on a rope.

Chiang Mai is pretty well in the middle, size wise, and it's got bong loads of history, ancient temples, and monk rock. The bars here own their drum sets, and the drums stay on the stage at all times, just waiting for some freak to jump up and show what good old fashioned American double-bass metal is all about.

I have eaten some odd dishes, one being 'Dancing Shrimp' (dancing not because they are happy, but because they are writhing in agony, having been suddenly doused with flash-sauteed pepper oil), another called 'Natural Law with Curdled Blood of Pig' (which had me confined to quarters for a spell), and a simple big mess of bugs at the Night Market during a Full Moon party thrown by Monks. I haven't produced a solid stool since Narita Airport in Tokyo.

I have black cobras in the back yard, and more elephants and monkeys than we had in Cadillac.

I am finally tall... taller than most; (these are tiny, tiny folk) and dammit, I have a nose bridge. That's what sets me apart now.